Big Issue, Ladies

Something Mark Haddon, author of The Curious Incident of the...you know, that one, said in the paper the other day struck a chord with me. Like my late friend Siobhan Dowd, he'd written a book with a central character who has Asperger's Syndrome – which, to quote Siobhan delightful term, is "like having a brain that works on a different operating system from other people's". Haddon said he wished he hadn't allowed his publishers to put the word "Asperger's" on the cover, because it then became an 'issue book', and he found himself constantly protesting "it's not really about Asperger's, it's about difference. It's about acceptance of others. It's about that sidelong, Martian view of the world." (Would it have made any difference to people's perception of Curious Incident if the word 'Asperger's' hadn't been put on the cover? Personally, I doubt it. I think maybe Haddon should trust his readers a bit more to 'get it.')

Now, the last thing in the world I want to write is "issue" books. Perish the thought! The very term conjures up the image of an angry, frustrated teacher with greasy hair haranguing their class to "PAY ATTENTION NOW,  while I tell you something IMPORTANT, OK?". Argh; heaven save us from Worthy Folk Imparting Knowledge! I just want to tell a cracking good story.

HOWEVER I also think this: you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Not highlighting 'issues' has problems of its own.

I was recently at a publishing party and I mentioned to a well-known (male) author who shall remain nameless that I tackle some pretty big issues in my books, and he quipped, 'what? Like choosing which dress to wear?' Something tells me this author hasn't actually read any of my books; he's making assumptions based on the undeniable girliness of the covers.

So here, just for fun, I've mocked up some alternative covers for some of my titles – just in case you were wondering if my books really were about anything else besides choosing a frock:

OK! That's that cleared up, then! Any questions, see me at the end of class.

Incidentally, speaking of Siobhan Dowd: as it's Easter and you might be wondering what to do, I may as well remind you that the stage play of her book-that-features-someone-with-Asperger's-but-isn't-'about'-Asperger's, The London Eye Mystery, brilliantly adapted for the stage by Carl Miller, is on in London NOW – but be quick! It closes on April 18th.You can read Culture Witch's piece about it here, and Bookwitch's piece, which I'm linking in spite of the fact that it includes an extremely unflattering picture of me, here. Below is a picture I took at the (belated) launch party, of Siobhan's sister Oona (mother of the nephew who inspired the book!) with actors John Cockerill (Ted) and Samantha Adams (Aunt Gloria):

Oh, and another "incidentally": for reasons I can't divulge without giving the plot away, Toonhead is the perfect read for Easter. We're in for a cold, wet one, so curl up in front of the fire with a nice Fair Trade chocolate egg (see what I did there? Issues!) and read this.

And finally...

Jinx update! If you're a fan of the program, do join the Jinx Facebook fan page! We're hoping there might be a second series.

Oh Goody! Another Distraction



OK I told myself I would wait till this evening to do this, but I have a busy evening ahead of me, am waiting to hear from my editor on something, and...in no time there will be a million other reasons not to do it. So here goes: the splendid Lucy Coats (Hootcat Hill out in paperback this week, people!) has nominated this blog for the Sisterhood Award! Which I'd never heard of. And I'm wondering who started it, and whether it was Ann Brashares, author of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...? (A title I dearly would have liked to come up with).

No matter.

So now my job is to nominate ten other 'sisters' whose blogs I like. My list overlaps considerably with Lucy's, a fact for which I make no apology at all. So here goes:

Bookwitch I could easily nomintate her twice over, because she is the very same witch who writes about Culture over on another blog. But I want to mention my other nine favourites as well, so will settle for putting her at the top of the list. Bookwitch is fast becoming legendary in the children's/young adult book world. Living in a gingerbread house in the woods somewhere in darkest Cheshire, she occasionally gets on her broom and whizzes off to book launches around the country. Here terrified authors vie with each other to befriend her, lest she take against them in some way and mutter spells in an obscure Swedish/Mancunian dialect, upon which their next book will be a flop. In between such visits, she sits beside her bubbling cauldron reading books and writing about them. She has also gathered a truly impressive range of author interviews. Check it out!

Candy Gourlay Her Notes from the Slushpile website is an absolute must-read for writers, and not just yet-to-be-published ones. It has been rumoured that Candy doesn't in fact exist at all but is the invention of a consortium of six different people – an author, a website designer, a cartoonist, a mother of three, a film-maker, and a person-who-spends-inordinate-amounts-of-time-on-YouTube, so you don't have to. I can lay this particular rumour to rest, as I have actually met her and can tell you that she is in fact able to do all six of these things, although unfortunately her children are frequently to be found on the streets of Holloway, begging to be fed by passing strangers.

Lucy Coats I am nominating Lucy as well, of course, and not just because she nominated me, but because she and her dog really know how to blog. Yes, she has a Dog Who Blogs, which I believe is the canine equivalent of Ladies Who Lunch. I have known Lucy for some time, but only Virtually, so it came as some shock just this past weekend when I met the analogue version and I was amazed to find that she is an actual three-dimensional, living, breathing person. Here we are with a bunch of other brilliant writers and bloggers: from left to right: Mary Hoffman, Kath Langrish, Liz Kessler, Lucy Coats, moi and Joe Friedman. Which leads me neatly onto ABBA. No, not the 70's Swedish singing group (who would have got absolutely nowhere if it had not been for CultureWitch's rigging of the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest) but a loosely-knit gang of balaclava-clad outlaws and occasional writers who blog about writing under the title of An Awfully Big Blog Adventure. The fact that Lucy Coats is one of them in no way disqualifies them, because for the purpose of this nomination we shall IGNORE her. Likewise the fact that some of them are rumoured to be men (this is a SISTERHOOD award), since those people are outnumbered by women roughly 5-1. Everyone who contributes to this blog is far brainier than me (including Kath Langrish, also featured in the picture above) which is why I wouldn't dare appear there. And...yes, they blog about writing, which actually means they blog about Everything, so it's an endlessly fascinating read. They keep quiet about their criminal work, naturally.

Mary Hoffman OK, it's about time I `fessed up: I want to be Mary Hoffman. I labour under the pathetic delusion that if I spend enough time around her, some of that sparkling brilliance will rub off on me. In no time I'll be exchanging quips in Italian with Florentine aristocrats, dashing off the odd 5,000 words of the sequel to my bestseller before reading and reviewing half a dozen novels over lunch, then nipping up to Stratford to catch the latest Hamlet, which I know practically verbatim. Alas, I fear it is never to be; likewise I suspect I shall never be as incredibly Organised as she is, and am destined always to get red reminders for the electricity bill. So the best I can hope for is to live her life vicariously, through her blog.

* STOP PRESS! * The above link takes you to Mary's diary, as distinct from her brand new book blog. Take a look! What a busy lady she is.

Liz Kessler Once again, I make no apologies for duplicating Lucy's list here, because this is lovely stuff. In fact, I read Liz's blog for the same reason I do Mary's: because I wish that I too was traveling around Europe in a campervan with my pal and my dalmation (I don't have a dalmation, but if I were to do this, I think one would be required, somehow). She doesn't add posts often enough for my liking, but that's because she's got better things to do, like going surfing at some glorious Andalucian beach, having barbecue parties or wandering around Barcelona. I'm GREEN with envy at her carefree lifestyle, so I waste no time in gloating at her on Facebook when it's raining there but sunny here.


Amanda Craig Amanda, the famous Titian-haired novelist, Times reviewer and journalist, has held out a remarkably long time before venturing into the blogosphere – perhaps because, like me, she was afraid of being swallowed up by the Blog Monster (see my very first post). I for one am delighted that she's finally caved in. I suspect, though, that she's still a bit afraid of the Blog Monster (I see she hasn't blogged for a week, so she's slacking already) so the best thing you can do is go there and post lots of comments about how brilliant she is, and she really mustn't worry about the fact that nobody's paying her to do it. In any case she also has a new novel coming out that's bound to be a huge success: it's called Hearts and Minds; apparently it's a Big London Novel, and I can't wait to read it.

Nina Killham I haven't known Nina for very long; we first met at a party to celebrate the election of Barack Obama last year (she's American; I'm married to an American). But I feel as if I've known her a lot longer – as indeed I should have done, since she's lived only about three streets away from me for the past several years. Despite the fact that she is an extremely glamorous ex Hollywood screenwriter (OK, secretary at Columbia Studios) she does not have her head up her own backside; on the contrary, she is very funny, doing a nice line in self-deprecating humour. I haven't read her books yet, because for some reason they're not published over here yet (wake up, UK publishers!) Here's hoping they will be before long.


Sarah McIntyre I love Sarah's work. She is an illustrator, creator of the Vern & Lettuce strip that first appeared in the DFC (the brilliant but endangered David Fickling Comic; somebody please come to the rescue there! We LOVE the DFC) and is now in the Saturday Guardian, and all-round fab, talented girl. Her blog is wonderfully random, full of doodles and digressions. Check out her superb website as well.

Wilf You'll have to take it on faith that Wilf is actually a woman. To be honest, I'm taking this on faith myself since, uniquely among my nominees, she's the one I've never actually met. In fact I don't even know what she looks like, because even though she's a Facebook friend of mine she was for a long time hiding behind a beard, and now she's a cartoon. I know her name, of course, but I'm not telling you what it is because it appears to be Secret. Anyway, her alter-ego Wilf is a very funny aspiring astronaut and general science geek with an irrational hatred of people called Alan. I'm a bit worried about Wilf now, though, because he's been gone a long time, being paid real money to catalogue his grandpa's teeth. I hope he comes back soon...who knows, maybe in book form?

NOW! IF YOU ARE ONE OF MY NOMINEES, PLEASE GO AHEAD AND....

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 favourite blogs of your own.

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Link to this post to the person from whom you received your award.